How Do You Know to You Arent Attracted to the Same Gender

So, what is sexual allure, yous ask?

As the AVENwiki states, 'Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person.'

Only we can aggrandize on this:

This is something that is often grouped together with sexual desire, and vice versa. Only don't be fooled! The two do not equate, as is explained hither:

Sexual allure - Seeing someone and not only finding them attractive, only thinking yous'd like to have sexual activity with them, similar fantasies and such. It's allure to another person that at it's end wants to be physically intimate, as opposed to being attracted to someone in a way where you think, "I'd like to get to know them" or "I want to be their best friend" or "I want to exist close to that person".

Sexual want - The desire to actually follow through with sexual attraction. I don't consider physiological reactions to be part of sexual desire, really, because in my case I know my body responds to sexual stimulus, the deviation is that my mind isn't interested. And then sexual desire is another mental affair, wanting actively to perform sexual acts with another person and believing that if you practice you will feel gratified.

Yous've probably seen term 'sexual attraction' thrown around a lot on AVEN, and y'all may have wondered how it feels. Well, here are some insightful analogies:

Then...wait, what makes sexual attraction sexual? Or anything at all? And what separates it from other types of attractions?

That to me is like request "well if you lot smell coffee simply don't want to get get i right at present, how tin y'all withal think it smells skillful?". Thinking coffee smells good = attraction. Wanting to go get a coffee = desire. Sometimes the two go together, and thinking coffee smells/tastes adept and periodically wanting java are certainly related. Just you tin call back coffee smells good without wanting to drink the coffee you smell, and you lot can desire a coffee without smelling some first.

Sure, sometimes you olfactory property fresh coffee and yous decide you'll have 1 right now, thanks, simply there's no rule that says that's the way it ever has to become down.

As far as differentiating sexual and aesthetic attraction, put crudely, it'due south the departure between "Oooooh, pretty!" and "I'd hit that." It'south unmistakeably sexual in nature to me, and it was unmistakeably sexual to me for years before I had any sexual feel. I hate to put forward "you just know" as an explanation, then I've mulled it over, and actually the best I tin practice is that it's a form of attraction that's tied in with sexual arousal and sexual fantasy, and so even when you feel it on its own, you know it's sexual. The closest I can get is that it feels similar sexual fantasy feels, even if there's no specific fantasising/mental-scenario-building going on.

Just similar seeing in color verses not seeing in colour, what you are used to feels normal. as a homosexual, I feel sexual attraction on and off throughout the day. But it'south not distracting, it's easy to put on the back burner so to speak. I really have to choose to want sex for it to consequence me. It'southward very noticeable, but at the aforementioned time it'southward nothing out of command. if it is, the person is probably hypersexual.

When having sex with someone you feel sexually attracted to is a feeling that makes you experience loved and more alive, but if information technology's with someone that you don't like romantically, it can be a rotten experience even for a non asexual person.

I similar to compare it to your sense of smell. Something that'due south always there, merely usually unnoticed or backgrounded. Only occasionally something that motivates you to action, or makes y'all frustrated if there'due south something delicious that you tin can't have. Similar odour, though, even if you can't have the delectable affair, that's still a pleasant sensation, despite the frustration (upwardly to a betoken, anyhow )

And PiF'south humorous analogies:

sexual attraction..it is what it is..nigh exercise know what information technology is..but for some reason want to personalise and there starts the confusion

so to give the over thinkers a helping manus hither is my opinion on sexual attraction

BE WARNED..A RUDI PICTURE FOLLOWS

Caution: Spoiler contains dated bed linen

and so in a room a sexual, a demi/semy/gray, a repressed sexual and an asexual all encounter the above picture and say

sexual...I would fuck that all mean solar day long and ride her like a race horse

demi/semi/grey...I would fuck that all day long and ride her like a race horse..as long as i knew her well enough first and i liked her

repressed sexual...I aint looking

asexual..ooo overnice bed linen

Every bit noted earlier, sexual attraction and sexual want are ii distinct experiences. Meaning, you can experience ane and non the other, which too means that you lot tin not experience sexual attraction, whilst experiencing sexual desires, and vice versa.

Seems disruptive? Fact is, sexuality isn't always so straight forwards, equally is thoroughly explained in 'Sexuals aren't withal either...I think'. Everyone'due south sexuality has unique qualities.

CBC shares their experiences hither.

Hopefully this thread has been helpful, hopefully at present y'all are more in the know.

Quick summary:

If you wish to read further into this subject field, and others, take a read though the 'Asexual-Sexual Q&A thread'

A big thanks to 'gnik', 'That One', 'Jillanimal', 'Olivier' and 'SkulleryMaid' for their contributions that contributed led to this thread's creation.

Thanks for reading

In response to some confusion:

Edit by Faeriefate

Information technology has come to the attention of the Q&A moderator that the definitions of Sexual Allure and Sexual Desire as stated here are confusing, and non anybody agrees with them. For farther agreement of these definitions, please visit the Helpful info for those questioning their (a)sexuality thread and read the related postal service.

Edited August 2, 2016 by faeriefate
In Response to some confusion:

How Do You Know to You Arent Attracted to the Same Gender

Source: https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/69810-what-is-sexual-attraction/

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